FEATURE: TAG Heuer Should Absolutely Bring Back the Kirium

TAG Heuer Formula 1 Kirium

Okay, I may be a little biased... but hear me out. The watch world is going crazy over two watches right now, both of which were designed by the same man (Gerald Genta). On the one hand you have the Patek Philippe Nautilus and on the other the Audemar Piguet Royal Oak. As a consequence, watch companies are frantically searching their archives for something, anything they can find that had an integrated bracelet (and hopefully some screws on the bezel) that they can 're-imagine' for the 21st Century with the sole aim of snagging a little piece of Genta-pie for themselves and their shareholders.

Chopard's new 'Alpine Eagle' (nee 'St Moritz)

This seemed to reach it's nadir the other day when we had the hilarious and frankly ridiculous spectacle of Chopard embarrassing themselves by digging up a hideous 80s watch called the 'St Moritz', pointing at the screws in the bezel and then using that as justification for the release of it's own Royal Oak inspired 'Alpine Eagle'. Yes, they didn't even keep the name, and they sure as hell didn't keep the design either... well actually that's not entirely true, the 2000s version of this model looked a lot more like the watch they are now pedalling, but I guess it's not nearly as 'iconic' to site a failing watch from 20 years ago as it is to site one from forty years ago that was actually quite successful in its day, even if it looks very little like the one you're now selling under a completely different name. So what exactly was the point of bringing up the St Moritz at all? Merely a distraction to divert accusations of 'Royal Oak' plagiarism I'd say. And why not the 'St Moritz' anymore? Possibly because 'St Moritz' isn't the 'destination' it once was... just as well Monaco is still 'Monaco' I guess!

Maurice Lacroix Aikon

At least Maurice Lacroix aren't even pretending; they launched their own 'Genta-esque' Aikon (a thoroughly dreadful name by the way) with no such chicanery, they merely stuck it out and everyone went 'we see what you did there' and it was all quickly forgotten about. At least I assume it was... I don't really follow Maurice Lacroix, maybe it's their biggest seller? And Bell and Ross did much the same with the BR-05, which was even more 'obvious' in its appropriated lineage.

Bell and Ross BR-05

The point is, the watch world is going nuts for integrated bracelets, left side case bulges and bezels with screws in. Granted the Kirium doesn't have screws in the bezel, but surely that's a simple enough retro-fit? It already has an integrated bracelet and a Nautilus style case 'hinge', all it really needs is expanding slightly to say 41mm and maybe the case could be 'straightened' a little to 'bring it up to date'... maybe a tapisserie dial, an optional rubber strap for the Kirium 'Oversea' variant (available in a selection of bright colours)... you get the picture.

So come on TAG Heuer, we've had a year of endless Monacos and the Carrera 50th anniversary is already on the horizon; you've just got time to squeeze out the new 'Kirium' and hoover up some of that lucrative Genta-pie before we're back to bi-monthly Carrera overload... I mean, what else do you have to choose from?

Ooooh, maybe not...